Better Today

Today has been a better day, for the most part.  Managed to do my light shopping at Target, not too much pain.  Few times I had to stop or slow down and let the pain subside, but I figure that will be normal for the next few weeks. No issues getting him in and out of the carseat today, which was nice.  I did find a calendar at work and I have every day marked until Halloween - my next short term goal.  I NEED to stay pregnant for 14 more days and her health will be greatly improved as opposed to her being born before then.  As of right now, she has a 90- 95% survival rate which is oddly comforting.  Its a very strange thing to be looking up information on how likely it is that your child will die.  I'm approaching it rationally and logically, I'm not sure there needs to be any emotion at this point.  I'm not scared, I'm not worried, I'm not panicking.  Maybe its just the calm before the storm.  I'm not really sure, but I am surprised that I am so calm about all of it.  I guess its just one of those things - there is nothing I can do about it.  She is coming whenever she is coming, and I have no control over it.  I am just the carrying vessel  :)

After around 6 or 7, I started getting more pressure and some pain so I'm figuring this is what all of my evenings will be like.  Gravity working against me.  So I am trying to basically sort out what is normal for this and what is stuff to be worried about.  I've had some contractions here and there, nothing I'm counting mins or duration for.  She has been quieter the last few days than she has been in a couple weeks, which just reaffirms to me that she will be coming soon.  My body is sending all the signals that labor is coming, so I'm trying to get my ducks in a row before she shows up.  :) 

As most of you know, positivity isn't my strong suit but being realistic is.  I know shes ok.  I know she will be ok whenever she is born.  Shes a fighter, I know that already.  We are strongly connected, much different than with the boys.  I've had connections with all three, the worst being William by far.  With Isaac, it was a quick, strong bond but I always knew we wouldn't meet face to face.  I always knew I would never hold him in my arms.  With Gabby, the connection was slower to grow but now its there and its very real.  And I KNOW she is going to be ok.  My baby girl is a fighter, and she is going to be a - ok. 

Who knew 2 lines could be so complicated....